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Things I learned from Paw Paw

  1. Steak marinades work better if you push holes in the T-bone with a fork. Adolph’s is the best. Always clean the grill when you’re finished. Always.

  2. Use the chuck to secure the drill bit to the drill. Find some scrap lumber to practice drilling before you try wall anchors.

  3. Check oil levels, tire pressures and all fluids before embarking on a road trip. Paw Paw would also recommend a visit to the AAA office, but now you can skip this step.

  4. Captain D’s fish counts as a serving of fish, complete with omega 3s.

  5. If you don’t feel like making it yourself, go to Hardees for sausage gravy and biscuits. Bob Evans if you have time to sit for awhile.

  6. Steak bones work well as infant teethers.

  7. When applying floor tile, always make sure to select tile boxes from the same lot; this will save much time later. As in, the time it takes to remove said tiles, return them to Lowes, pick up a pizza on the way home and get quite lost.

  8. When you’re cooking, make a big pot of vegetable stew so there is plenty to share. Same with salad, finely chopped.

  9. Save the packaging for everything. When you’re done using whatever product is wrapped, carefully put the product back in the package and re-close it securely with a rubber band.

  10. When you’re in a pinch, you can make hot chocolate with water instead of milk. It tastes best from a styrofoam cup carried while feeding the pigeons at the West Virginia State Capitol.

  11. Electrical testers are fascinating toys for children, as is anything else a Paw Paw might happen to have in his shirt pocket.

  12. Drink coffee from tall, slender mugs. This way you can refresh more often.

  13. Families should clean up the kitchen together, watch some Hee Haw and play UNO afterwards. Any games are fun; make sure kids know the rules for checkers. And watch Nanny.  She’s sneaky.

  14. Don’t get too many tattoos, or you will be referred to (affectionately) as a sailor.

  15. Always root around in the breadbasket for the piece of garlic bread that has the most butter on it. It’s okay not to eat the crust. Just find someone who likes the crust and trade the inside for the outside. Usually Paw Paws and sometimes Dads are good for this.

  16. Ice cream always tastes better when you go out to get it. Preferably in a station wagon facing backwards headed to Valley Bell, or walking down the street to Dairy Queen.

  17. Take your time when you eat and always thank the cook.

  18. If you have only one shirt in your closet, it should be flannel.

  19. Most things are not difficult, some things just take time. Be patient with those things.

  20. Vote early.


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