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“Why do I have to take piano lessons?”

The top 20 reasons your mother has required music lessons:

  1. All civilized people should know how to play an instrument. Just because we no longer sit around in our parlors and parade our children across the piano bench, doesn’t mean we should abandon our enjoyment of the finer things in life.  Culture, my dears, begins early.

  2. When you are older, life will be stressful, and the piano will offer you a much-needed expressive outlet. You’ll one day appreciate the value of sitting at the piano. You might even appreciate its beauty.

  3. Chics dig musicians. Dudes dig musicians.

  4. When you go to church with someone new, you’ll be glad you can follow along in the hymnal and not look like a complete goofball.

  5. When I’m old, I want someone else to be able to play Christmas carols so we can all sing along while decorating the tree and drinking eggnog.

  6. You will grow up and likely have children, and your children will want you to play songs for them and maybe even accompany them when they audition for the part in the school play.

  7. Knowing how to play a cool song or five has lots of social value – you can be in a band or comp a song for a talent show.

  8. I really wanted you to take Latin too, but I lost that battle.

  9. When you’re little, your brain figures out what kinds of thing you do a lot, and then it makes sure it always has a way to do those things.  Like, for your whole life.

  10. I like hearing music around my house.  It’s much better than bickering.

  11. We can play duets and hang out at the piano together, just like you can with your grandmother or anyone else.  That’s good bonding time.

  12. You may start to understand that there is a difference between music and that nonsense they play on the radio.

  13. Of course, piano helps you develop all dimensions of yourself.  Well-rounded.  One sport, one instrument, your Dad and I agreed on before you were even born.

  14. Playing piano gives you good posture and helps your fine motor development and cross midline coordination.

  15. Practicing piano helps you understand mathematics:  “all nature consists of harmony arising out of numbers” after all.  Transpositions, circle of 5ths, adding up your minutes of practice time…

  16. You’ll learn that, in life, sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do.  That’s an important lesson; one you won’t learn if you only do things you want to when you want to do them.

  17. If you can memorize your recital piece, then you’ll have no problem with case law, musculature of the human body and the history of the Eastern Bloc.

  18. You’ll also learn that you are capable of far more than you think – hurdles in life are mounted one measure at a time, hands separately at first.  In the end, you’ll be proud of yourself and you’ll be pleased with the music you make.

  19. Interpreting music has much to do with how you otherwise express yourself – learning when to be loud, when to be quiet, when to pause, speed up.  It helps you become a better communicator, which your future spouse will appreciate.

  20. And of course, because I said so.

I’m pretty sure you’ll thank me one of these days, as you will for insisting on sunscreen and helmets and vegetables.  But if not, at least you’ll be able to play for me at The Home after you wipe the dinner off my chin.


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